Show Notes


Episode 100. How to Actually Pray Together as a Couple (Without It Being Weird)

Episode 100. How to Actually Pray Together as a Couple (Without It Being Weird)

"Being connected to your spouse in prayer, even when things are hard, maybe especially when things are hard, is one of the best ways to know that person."
~ Pat Millea

  • Why do so many couples want to pray together but never actually do it?

  • What do you do when you feel too vulnerable, too proud, or too far apart to pray?

  • Is there a method that works, even for couples who have never prayed out loud together?

In episode 100 of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna Millea take on a topic that listeners have been asking for: how to actually pray together as a couple. Not in theory. Not with a polished formula. But honestly, practically, and in a way that fits real married life with kids, conflict, busy schedules, and the kind of exhaustion that makes even good intentions fall apart.

They dig into why married prayer is so uniquely powerful, including what it means that no one knows your spouse like God does, and why that matters most when things are hard between you. They unpack the difference between rote prayer and spontaneous prayer, and why both have a place in a marriage. And they walk through a specific method of praying together, taught by a priest named Father Scott Traynor, that is accessible, intimate, and surprisingly doable, even for couples who feel completely out of their depth.

Then, to mark the milestone of episode 100, they actually do it. Pat and Kenna pray the Traynor method together, on air, for real, in what may be the most vulnerable and honest moment the show has ever aired.

This episode is for every couple who has wanted to pray together but did not know where to start.

Show Notes


Download your guide to Intentional Married Prayer here 👇

Challenge By Choice

Pray with your spouse!

  • Talk about any anxiety, fear, or discomfort you have about praying out loud together

  • Try it! There are no perfect words or formulas, just a simple conversation with the Lord about your spouse

  • After you pray together using this Traynor Method or another approach, talk about how it was for each of you. How do you feel afterward?

Reflection Questions

For personal reflection or group discussion

  1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?

  2. Do you pray with your spouse? What are the obstacles to having a better prayer life with them?

  3. How important to you believe prayer is to a marriage and family? How can you and your spouse move toward a better shared prayer life?

  4. What feelings of discomfort or fear do you have around praying with your spouse? How can you address those feelings?

  5. What is one step you can take with your spouse toward a better shared prayer life?