Show Notes

Episode 43. From Conflict to Connection: Process Over Content

Episode 43. From Conflict to Connection: Process Over Content

"Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or adversity."
~ St. Faustina

Do you have the same arguments over and over again? Are you frustrated by a lack of connection in your relationship? Is it possible to still be connected when you disagree with the person you love?

In this episode, Kenna and Pat Millea explore the transformative power of prioritizing Process over Content in communication and relationships. They delve into the significance of empathy and vulnerability in fostering genuine connection, especially during times of hardship or conflict. Through personal anecdotes from their own marriage, Kenna and Pat demonstrate the healing potential of empathy and authenticity in a relationship. The truth is that our arguments aren't really about the content: the thing that happened or what someone said. On a deeper level, our conflicts are about the process: how we were affected, and how badly we desire to be loved, known, and understood, even in times of conflict.

Join Pat & Kenna for a fun and fruitful episode and take the next step toward conflict that connects!

Show Notes

  • The art of creating connection through conflict being with empathy: understanding someone’s feeling and perspective, and being understood ourselves

  • Prioritizing Process over Content means not getting bogged down by what happened (including what someone said or did)

    • It means focusing instead on how I feel about what happened

    • Sharing my life with someone I love and being known, accepted, and loved in that

  • Process over Content doesn’t mean that we’ll never get to content

    • And typically, when we feel connected to the person we’re in conflict with, the content is much, much easier to resolve

Challenge By Choice

Identify your “process” and communicate it to someone.

  • “What is it like to be me? How does it leave me feeling?”

  • “How can I tell the person I love how I’m feeling and what it’s like to be me?”

  • “How can I pursue connection (being close to the person I love) instead of being right?”

Reflection Questions

For personal reflection or group discussion

  1. What is one thing that is sticking with you from this episode?

  2. What is a time that someone has truly empathized with you and worked to understand your feelings? How did that make you feel?

  3. When have you fallen into the trap of prioritizing being "right" over fostering understanding and connection in a conflict? How might a focus on Process over Content have led to a different outcome?

  4. When is it most tempting to get bogged down in content? How can you focus on process instead?

  5. What is a first step you can make to prioritizing process over content moving forward?