Show Notes
Episode 84. Holy Sex, part 3: Expectations, Desires & NFP w/ Renzo & Monica Ortega
Episode 84. Holy Sex, part 3: Expectations, Desires & NFP w/ Renzo & Monica Ortega
"Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be ignored, and that specifies both its dignity and its responsibility: family, become what you are."
~ St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, §17
How do I acknowledge and communicate my sexual desires & needs?
What do I do when my expectations about sex in marriage are unmet?
Is it possible to keep the spark alive while practicing NFP?
In episode 84, Pat and Kenna welcome Monica & Renzo Ortega for the final installment of their “Holy Sex” series. Together, they dive into the nitty-gritty realities of sex, intimacy, and marriage from a faith-filled, honest perspective. The conversation explores expectations versus reality, navigating communication, vulnerability, and the unique challenges of practicing NFP, whether trying to achieve or avoid pregnancy. The Ortegas share personal stories and offer compassionate advice for couples wrestling with unmet expectations, shame, or the need for deeper connection. This episode is rich with practical wisdom, laughter, and encouragement, inviting couples to have those hard-but-holy conversations and rediscover the gift of authentic intimacy in marriage.
Renzo & Monica Ortega have been married since 2012 and have 5 kids. They facilitate youth and marriage prep ministry for their home parish and they love to talk about all things marriage and family life on their podcast: Two Become Family. They've also co-authored a book entitled Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse (A Guide for Everyday Catholics).
Show Notes
There’s often a big gap between our expectations around sex and the reality
When there are unmet expectations or disappointments, if you're willing to talk about it, you're brought closer together through intimacy.
Using NFP when trying to become pregnant can sometimes make sex feel like an obligation or a chore, and it’s crucial to have open conversations when these feelings come up
It’s beautiful and important to recover a sense of being naked and without shame (Genesis 2:25) - not only physically, but emotionally as well.
One helpful “examination of marriage” might be: is our emotional relationship & connection keeping up with our sexual relationship & connection?
It’s true that you won’t be able to just have sex whenever you want in marriage - and thank goodness for that!
This isn’t only about your desires & needs
"Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be ignored, and that specifies both its dignity and its responsibility: family, become what you are."
~ St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, §17
Challenge By Choice
Talk to two important persons about sex, especially any challenges, fears, or hesitations:
God (especially in the Blessed Sacrament)
Your spouse
Reflection Questions
For personal reflection or group discussion
What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
If you're married, what were your expectations around sex before marriage? How have the played out so far?
How has your background or upbringing shaped your views on sex, and how have those views influenced your relationship?
How has striving for chastity within marriage challenged or changed your understanding of love and self-gift?
What’s one “hard conversation” about intimacy, fertility, or expectations that you’ve been avoiding with your spouse? How might you create space for that discussion?