Show Notes

Episode 101. What Couples Therapy Is Actually Like (And Why Most People Wait Too Long)

Episode 101. What Couples Therapy Is Actually Like (And Why Most People Wait Too Long)

"I love for people to come when the pipes leak instead of when they burst."
~ Vonda Tiede, LMFT

  • Why do so many couples wait years before finally seeking help?

  • What actually happens in the therapy room, and what is the therapist really doing?

  • Are there situations where couples therapy can do more harm than good?

Couples therapy is one of the most misunderstood tools in marriage. People assume it means something's broken, that the therapist will pick a side, or that it's too late. None of that is true.

In this episode, Kenna sits down with two trusted colleagues and fellow licensed marriage and family therapists, Ben Baker and Vonda Tiede, for an honest, behind-the-curtain conversation about what couples therapy actually looks like, who it's for, and what gets in the way of people starting sooner.

They cover the myths that keep couples stuck, the difference between a disagreement and a full-blown fight, what "containment" really means in the therapy room, and the specific situations where couples therapy is actually contraindicated. They also share the one thing they each wish every couple knew before they ever walked through the door.

Whether you're considering couples therapy, currently in it, or just curious what happens in that room, this episode will give you real answers, not vague reassurances.

Show Notes

Challenge By Choice

Be brave enough to have a conversation with your spouse about where your marriage is

  • What are your hopes and dreams related to your marriage?

  • Be careful not to step into blame or accusation.

  • Are there areas where we’re not as close as we desire? Are there things that we need specific help with?

  • What would have to happen for our relationship to develop into something deeper & closer?

Reflection Questions

For personal reflection or group discussion

  1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?

  2. What are your honest impressions of couples or marriage therapy?

  3. Before listening to this episode, what kinds of couples would you have said need therapy? Has that image changed because of this conversation?

  4. What is the place for counseling or therapy in a faith-based and sacramental marriage?