Show Notes

Episode 81. Take Back Control of Your Life

Episode 81. Take Back Control of Your Life

"For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery."
~ Galatians 5:1

What if I didn't sign up for the life I have?
What does my life feel so out of control?
Why do I feel trapped in the life I'm leading?

In Episode 81 of This Whole Life, hosts Pat & Kenna Millea dive deep into what it really means to take control of your life — especially when things aren't going the way you thought they would. This episode explores the broader theme of agency: why so many people feel stuck in passive roles and how modern life — through technology, cultural pressures, and even spiritual ideals — can erode our sense of freedom. Packed with personal stories and practical wisdom, Pat and Kenna explore real strategies for reclaiming healthy agency, embracing flexibility, and living an integrated life in faith and mental health. 

This episode also offers some raw reflections on the tragic shooting at Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, as well as highlights of their new Figuring It Out course for those seeking meaningful change. Because truly, freedom and agency are especially important when things don't go the way we planned. Join us for this heartfelt and honest conversation.

Show Notes

  • Please keep the victims and families of Annunciation Catholic Church & School in your prayers

  • Freedom is a risk; it comes with the inherent possibility of pain, suffering, and heartache. But it’s worth the risk.

  • “Agency” means actively making choices in my life; engaging the choices of my life and being able to stand by the choices that I'm making in my life.

  • Three things that cause a lack of agency:

    • All of the “technologies” that we enjoy have stolen our ability to do hard things, and even to be believe that we’re capable of doing hard things

    • Blaming others for our struggles

    • Hyper-spiritualizing that leads to passivity and giving up my agency

  • When someone is appropriately using their freedom, it looks like:

    • Setting and achieving goals

    • Taking risks & seeking adventure

    • Flexibility: Allowing the expression of my values to change even though the underlying value doesn’t change

  • The verbs “I have to…” and “I should…” can really limit my free will and agency.

    • The verb “I am choosing to…” is a source & result of great freedom, even if the thing I’m choosing is also something that I “have to” do

  • Check out Figuring It Out, an amazing live online course to help adults grow in the skills to live with healthy minds, relationships and habits

Challenge By Choice

  1. Check out Figuring It Out, a live online course for healthy minds, relationships & habits

  2. Take back control in one key area of your life

  • What is one area of your life in which you have lost, or given up, control & agency?

  • What can you do to reclaim agency in that area?

  • How can you choose the best way forward when it comes to that thing / relationship / activity / duty?

Reflection Questions

For personal reflection or group discussion

  1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?

  2. Are there areas of life in which you feel trapped? How do you know?

  3. What does it look like to live in healthy freedom? When have you lived in healthy freedom?

  4. Are there things in your life that you feel like you "have to" or "should" do instead of actively choosing? What could you do differently?

  5. How can you choose to engage with your life in a way that lines up with your values?